The starting point for a discussion should be the observed structures. $\ce{SF6}$ has a regular octahedral geometry with bond lengths of 1.56 Å. Below is a depiction compared with some other compounds showing fluorine sulfur bonds:
Source: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/318478861_Sulfur_-_fluorine_bond_in_PET_radiochemistry/figures?lo=1
The structure of $\ce{PCl5}$ in a trigonal bipyramid:
Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Phosphorus-pentachloride-2D-dimensions.png
Trigonal bipyramids have distinct axial and equatorial ligands, but they can swap using the pseudorotation mechanism. While this is sometimes faster than the methods to characterize the molecules (e.g. the NMR spectrum of $\ce{PF5}$ suggest 5 identical ligands), the electrons are even faster "figuring out bonding", so we can ignore pseudorotation (Born-Oppenheimer approximation).
So those are the structures we would like to rationalize, with the simplest model possible (so it still fits in our head and we can be convinced by it - "just" solving the problem ab initio doesn't convince most folks).
[OP] Do you know any paper that disapproves the sp3d2 model?
- Chemical bonding in hypervalent molecules. The dominance of ionic bonding and negative hyperconjugation over d-orbital participation, Alan E. Reed and Paul v. R. Schleyer, Journal of the American Chemical Society 1990 112 (4), 1434-1445
DOI: 10.1021/ja00160a022
- Hypercoordinate molecules of second-row elements: d functions or d orbitals? Eric Magnusson, Journal of the American Chemical Society 1990 112 (22), 7940-7951
DOI: 10.1021/ja00178a014
[OP] So if the hybridisations sp3d and sp3d2 don't exist, how does this work?
The logic is that if the only atomic orbitals on the central atoms you consider for bonding are s-orbitals and p-orbitals, you can't make more than 4 bonds (this also goes for sulfate and phosphate). If you want to stay close to Lewis structures, with a line representing two electrons, you have to invoke ionic bonds and resonance. For $\ce{SF6}$, you write $\ce{SF4^2+ + 2F-}$. This gives
Source: Wikimedia via Wikipedia article on hypervalent molecule
The bonds are a combination of a covalent bond (bond order 2/3) and an ionic bond (attraction of 1/3 charge on fluoride with +2 charge on sulfur).
If you want to use MO-theory, you match the fluoride p-orbitals (the s-electrons don't participate) with the symmetry of the central atom's s-orbitals and p-orbitals (see illustration in the question). The four lowest combinations are shown below. If you use subtraction instead of addition, you get anti-bonding MOs (with more nodes; just like we learn for atomic orbitals, more nodes mean higher energy of electrons in that state).
These get filled with the 8 electrons available. 8 electrons would make 4 standard localized bonds, but here you connect 6 ligands, so the bond order is 4/6 = 2/3). This matches the bond order of 2/3 for the VB model above (localized bonds plus ionic interaction).
If you compare the S-F single bond lengths in other molecules to the bond length in $\ce{SF6}$, they are all very similar, even though e.g. the bonds in $\ce{SF2}$ are "real" single bonds and we just said the bonds in $\ce{SF6}$ have a bond order of 2/3. This is rationalized by the partially ionic character of the latter.
The $\ce{PCl5}$ molecule can be explained in a similar manner. The bond order is 4/5.
[Oscar Lanzi in comments] PCl5: bond orders may be different for equatorial and axial atoms, I would use 1 and 1/2 respectively.