Your goal is to reduce the surface tension of the water so that it does not support the formation of large bubbles or inhibit the whetting of the dirt particles.  

When the bubbles are small, the dust inside will be more likely to make contact with the liquid surface of the bubble within the lifetime of the bubble. Also, when it does make contact, it will be much more likely to irreversibly adhere to the water if you have reduced the surface tension.  

The word "surfactant" is a blend of "surface active agent"$^1$, and this is what you need to interfere with the surface tension of your water.  I believe that you may have written off detergents too hastily. I think the best solution will be to add a small amount of laundry detergent, or possibly non-foaming carpet cleaner. Each of these products are designed to foam to a lesser degree than, say, dishwashing detergent or most hand soaps.  

I suspect that you will have to experiment a bit, but that something on the order of a single cc per liter may be sufficient to increase the effectiveness of dust removal without causing excessive suds. Your goal should be to see how much detergent you can add without adversely affecting your vacuum, and decide whether this has resulted in a decreased throughput of dust particles.  

As to your title question, "How do I lower the surface tension of water without using a detergent?", what I'm really saying is 1) that most anything that does what you want could probably be deemed a detergent and 2) that a detergent is likely the most practical solution to your problem.

1) *Surfactants and Interfacial Phenomena*, Fourth Edition, Rosen and Kunjappu, John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 2012